User blog:Omgitskittykatty/002
SpongeBob: '''nose hair Two hundred, forty-seven. another nose hair Two hundred, forty-eight. '''Camera Man: throat SpongeBob: '''Wait? Are we rolling? '''Camera Man: head yes SpongeBob: Awkward... 0.0 ''' Theme '''Setting: SpongeBob's Backyard SpongeBob: Hi, I'm SpongeBob SquarePants, and this is my all new reality series, SpongeBob SquarePants: The Reality Show! YOU DON'T SAY? Squidward: Wow. I bet it took hours to come up with that name. Sarcastically SpongeBob: Really? It only took a couple of minutes. '-_-' Squidward: Were you dropped on your head when you were a guppy? SpongeBob: '''How did you know? '''Squidward: Lucky guess. Reused joke from the original ''SpongeBob SquarePants ''series. SpongeBob: Where was I? Oh, right. throat Hi, I'm SpongeBob SquarePants, and this is my all new reality series- Squidward: Haven't we already gone over this? SpongeBob: Shh! Squidward, you made me lose my place! throat... again Hi, I'm SpongeBob SquarePants, and this is my all new reality series, SpongeBob SquarePants: The Reality Show! '-_- *flips table*' Let's meet the contestants! This is totally a sitcom. Sarcastically over to Mr. Krabs So Eugene, what inspired you to join us in this once in a lifetime opportunity today? Mr. Krabs: 'Money! '$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ SpongeBob: 'I... see. over to Patrick So Patrick, what brought you here today? '''Patrick: '''Where am I? '-_- *flips table* SpongeBob: 'suspiciously You always were quite the... '...dumb piece of crud.... ...joker, Patrick over to Squilliam So Squilliam, what do you plan on doing in order to win today's competition? $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Squilliam: '''You better make this quick SquarePants! I've got places to be! '''Yes, like showering in his money. $$$ SpongeBob: vigorously Oh, you won't be going anywhere for a long time! even harder SpongeBob's evil. looks confused '-_- *flips table*' Man Ray: '''You can't just keep us captive here... it's... it's... evil! I love it! '''Mermaid Man: EEEEVIIIILLL! SHUUUUT UUUUP! SpongeBob: Oh, yes I can. Barnacle Boy: And just how do you plan on doing that? SpongeBob: '''It's in your contract. '''Plankton: Contract? What contract? SpongeBob: This one. contract out of his pocket Plankton: Oh, that contract. Contract appears mysteriously. Pearl: He told me it was a raffle ticket for a free trip to the beauty salon! Mr. Krabs: That's my girl! $$$ No -- she wants beauty salon. ''You ''want money. $$$$ Karen: '''He told me it was for a software update! '''NERD! Flying Dutchman: '''Step aside, and leave it to the master. contract '''FINALLY! Cheers cheers Dammit, early again! SpongeBob: Not so fast! A true genius always brings a backup contract! [Pulls backup contract out of his pocket) Flying Dutchman: backup contract SpongeBob: And a backup backup contract! backup backup contract out of his pocket Flying Dutchman: backup backup contract SpongeBob: And a backup backup backup contract! backup backup backup contract out of his pocket '-_-' Mrs. Puff: 'Enough! '''Sandy: '''Y'all should be ashamed of yourselves! Everyone stay calm and let the sponge finish talking. 'Flying Dutchman Nah. Sandy SpongeBob: Thank you Sandy. Reused quote from every episode ever. Now that I have your attention let me explain how the show is going to work. I have divided all of you into two teams of seven: seven The Krabby Patties and The Jellyfish. Every week a contest will be held between the two teams. The losing team must eliminate one participant, but you don't decide who that contestant is, the viewers at home do. The final participant left will win a grand prize of... one million dollars! $$$$$$ Larry the Lobster: Imagine what you could buy with that kind of money! $$$$$$ I'm in! SpongeBob: Before we announce the teams let me introduce you to my co-host, Gary. Gary: '''Meow. '''Oh, OK--wait how can a snail be a co-host?! SpongeBob: And my test dummy, Fred. MY LEG Fred: May I ask you a question? SpongeBob: No, we will not be paying for your medical bills. FOR HIS LEG Fred: '''Tartar sauce! '''TO PUT ON YOUR LEG Scooter: What about me? You're dead. Why are you here? I'd be a great test dummy! I died like seven seasons ago... EXACTLY. ...and I'm in perfect condition! SpongeBob: Oh yeah, and that guy over there. What's your name again? Scooter: Scooter. Aren't you dead? SpongeBob: It is now time to divide you into teams. First up The Krabby Patties. Barnacle Boy, Mr. Krabs, Karen, Man Ray, Pearl, Plankton, and Sandy. OK, so Plankton, Karen and Man Ray go with the good guys? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL 'EM ALL, SPONGEBOB?! Next up, The Jellyfish. Flying Dutchman, Larry the Lobster, Mermaid Man, Mrs. Puff, Patrick, Squidward, and Squilliam. Bad idea, SB. Squidward: '''What!? Why am I on the same team as Squilliam!? '''Told you so. SpongeBob: I thought it would make the competition a little juicy. WITH BLOOD. Squidward: Juicy!? WITH BLOOD. SpongeBob: Yes Squidward, juicy. WITH BLOOD. J-U-I-C-Y... ...W-I-T-H B-L-O-O-D. ...juicy. WITH BLOOD Squidward: '''That's not what I meant you barnacle brain! '''Missing comma, but no biggie. Larry the Lobster: 'Sorry to interupt, but what's the first competition? '''SpongeBob:'Good question Larry! The first competition is a scavenger hunt. '''Missing space. looks releived SpongeBob: '''In which you will have to make life threatning decisinons. '''I don't want to make a life threatning decisinon! gasps Mrs. Puff: We're risking our lives for money $$$? Mr. Krabs: Not just money''' $$$'! We're talking about one million smackaroos '$$$'! '''SpongeBob: '''Everyone calm down. The possibilities of not coming back from this competition are just twenty-five in one-hundred. Anyway, each team will be given one clue that will lead them to the next part of the scavenger hunt. The first team to complete the scavenger hunt will be granted invincibility from tonights elimination ceremony. '''Flying Dutchman:' When do we start? SpongeBob: Don't you mean, when do we start? Flying Dutchman: That's what I just said. SpongeBob: '''I'm sure you did. Sarcasticlly '''Flying Dutchman: Grr! WTF, SpongeBob? SpongeBob: If you all just calm down I'll give you your first clue. listens closely SpongeBob: Your first clue is, "What creature has four legs, but never walks on them?" Squilliam: I know the answer! Barnacle Boy: '''Well spit it out! '''Squilliam: '''The answer is a Jellyfish! Wait a minute! Are you even on our team? '''Barnacle Boy: Nope. back to his team with the answer WTF, Barnacle Boy and Squilliam? Squilliam: '''Hey! Get back here! teams race to Jellyfish Fields '''Never said anything about racing. Setting: Jellyfish Fields Patrick: Jellyfish I got one! Squidward: '''Well whats the next clue? '''COME BACK, APOSTROPHE Patrick: Oh, you mean that peice of paper? Squidward: Yes! What happened to it? Patrick: '''Oh, that silly old thing. I ate it. '''Squidward: You what!? ...ALL THIS FUSS ABOUT A FREAKING PIECE OF PAPER? Patrick: Don't get your tidey whities in a twist. It'll be out in a couple hours. Gary: Meow? The bad co-host returns. Man Ray: Jellyfish I got one! Plankton: Yeah, yeah, good for you. Read the next clue! Man Ray: What's the magic word? Plankton: Sighs Please Sandy: '''Well, what's it say? '''Man Ray: It says, "The contestant holding this clue must spend 30 seconds inside a Jellyfish hive, where you will find your next clue." Piece of cake. '-_- Evil guys being nice to each other? *flips table* Saying "please?" *flips cake* Helping each other?! *flips house*' French Narrator: 30 seconds later... Man Ray: I want my mommy! the hive in fear '-_- *flips half of my torso*' Sandy: Did you get the next clue? Man Ray: Clue? What clue'?' '-_- *flips other half of my torso*' Sandy: 'The one you were supposed to get while you were in the hive. '''Man Ray: '''I'll be right back. '-_- *flips leg* French Narrator: '''Another 30 seconds later... '''Sandy: '''Did you get it this time? '''Man Ray: It's not like I would forget it again. Sandy: '''Where is it then? '''Man Ray: Hold on another 30 seconds. '-_- *flips everything except head*' French Narrator: Yet another 30 seconds later... Man Ray: Yes, I remembered it this time! It says,'' "What do you wear on your hand that is bigger than a galaxy?"'' Pearl: '''That doesn't make any sense! '''Karen: Or maybe it does! You wear a glove on your hand, and a universe is bigger than a galaxy! The answer is Glove Universe! You're a robot. Why would you go to Glove Universe? Setting: '''Glove Universe '''Pearl: '''What now? '''Fred: from the sky MY LEG Here's your next clue. (Hands paper to Sandy) Sandy:'' '"The contestant standing to the left of the person holding this clue must ride the Glove Drop, where you will find your next clue." '''Man Ray: that he is standing to the left of Sandy Not again! the Glove Drop Sandy: Did you get the next clue? Man Ray: Yes, I got your precious clue! It says, "Where do you go to swim in something slimey?" Glove Universe, totally. Sarcastically Mr. Krabs: Huh? $$$ Sandy: Wait a minute! You swim in a lagoon, and goo is slimey, so the answer is Goo Lagoon! Setting: Goo Lagoon Mr. Krabs: 'Where's the next clue? '$$$ Scooter: '''Right here man! Mr. Krabs a paper '''YOU'RE DEAD. Mr. Krabs: It says, "Congratulations for being the first team to complete the scavenger hunt! You and your team have won invincibility from tonights elimination ceremony. Report to SpongeBob's backyard immediately to except your reward." ''$$$' except my reward? YOU CHEAP BASTARDS! $$$ Setting: '''SpongeBob's Backyard '''SpongeBob: '''Congratulations to the Krabby Patties for winning todays competition! It appears that the Jellyfish are still trying to get there next clue. '''Setting: Jellyfish Fields Larry the Lobster: You can do it Patrick! No he can't. Patrick: Strains I'm trying! Setting: '''SpongeBobs Backyard '''I miss you apostrophe. SpongeBob: 'The results are in, and the first contestant to be eliminated from SpongeBob SquarePants: The Reality Show ''is... Squilliam! '''Squilliam: '''What!? This isn't fair! I'm better than every single one of you! This is an outrage! '''SpongeBob: '''Fred? '''Fred: Squilliam by the arm, and drags him away MY LEG Squilliam: '''I'll be back! '''SpongeBob: '''What's his problem? '''You just eliminated him from your show. I think you know his problem. Category:Blog posts